


Wingman

by sgtcalhouns



Category: Wreck-It Ralph (Movies)
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-11-16 12:36:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18094439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtcalhouns/pseuds/sgtcalhouns
Summary: Ralph attempts to be Felix's wingman. It goes about as well as you would expect. human au





	Wingman

Felix sighed as he leaned on the table, his chin in his hand as he stared across the room. Ralph followed his line of sight and caught the object of his ogling–Miss Calhoun, the newest tenant of their apartment building. The pair of friends was currently seated in the middle of the big Fourth of July bash being put on by the complex, the room filled with all their friends and neighbors. Felix couldn’t hide his surprise at the fact that Miss Calhoun had even shown up; she kept mostly to herself, so he never thought he would see her at a party like this.

“Hey, loverboy, I don’t think she has ESP,” Ralph chided. “Maybe you should go talk to her.”

“I can’t do that, Ralph! I’d just end up embarrassing myself again,” Felix grumbled.

“Again?”

“Well, the day she moved in, our paths crossed in the lobby,” Felix began, looking down at the table in shame as he recounted the event. “I took one look at her and completely lost track of where I was going. Walked straight into a wall.”

“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” Ralph said, trying to contain his laughter.

“I was so embarrassed I just ducked into the stairwell without even saying anything,” Felix said. “She’s just so  _beautiful_ , I couldn’t focus on much else.”

He heaved an exasperated sigh, burying his face in his hands.

“And now she prob’ly thinks I’m some kind of dummy.”

“Maybe she thought it was cute!” Ralph suggested. He was met with a glare as Felix dropped his hands onto the table. “Or… Maybe she didn’t. Why don’t I go talk to her?”

“What? No,” Felix replied.

“Oh, come on, I’ll go introduce myself and just  _casually_  bring you up in conversation,” Ralph said. “I’ll be your wingman!”

“I really don’t think that’s a good–” Felix looked on in disbelief as Ralph stood from the table, walking across the room toward Miss Calhoun. “Ralph, no!”

But it was too late. Ralph had already made his way over to her and was in the middle of introducing himself. Felix didn’t know whether to stay close enough to make sure Ralph didn’t say anything embarrassing, or get as far away from Miss Calhoun as possible. The thought of making a fool of himself in front of her again made him want to walk outside and flop down onto the grass, sinking into it until he was out of sight.

After a moment of contemplation, he decided to move a bit closer. This way, he could stop Ralph in case he took things too far. Standing a few feet away, he was able to hear their conversation.

“So, Felix is single!” Ralph said proudly. Miss Calhoun quirked her brow in confusion before catching a glimpse of Felix over Ralph’s shoulder, an absolutely mortified expression on his face. 

“Is that so?” she asked, an amused smirk adorning her face as she watched Felix turn a whole new shade of red.

“Yep!” Ralph answered. “I dunno what you’ve got going on in your life, but I was thinkin’ if  _you’re_  single and  _he’s_  single, maybe sometime you two could–”

“Okay, I think that’s enough, Ralph!” Felix interjected, doing his best to push Ralph away from Miss Calhoun. Once they had taken a few steps away from her, Felix began scolding his friend. “What are you  _doing?_ She’s gonna think I’m crazy!”

Standing close by, and still within earshot, Miss Calhoun chuckled. She couldn’t help finding Felix’s embarrassment amusing, and maybe even a little bit cute. She had been curious about him ever since she watched him walk into a wall on her first day in the building, and she figured now was as good a time as any to go and talk to him.

“So, word around town is that you’re on the market,” she teased, smirking at Felix as he turned to face her. Ralph took this as his cue to leave.

“I swear I didn’t ask him to do that,” Felix replied, whipping his hat off his head and trying–but failing–to keep his blushing at bay. “I know you must think I’m some kind of lunatic. I’m sorry, miss.”

“It’s Tamora,” she responded.

“I’m sorry?” he asked.

“My name is Tamora,” she said, a soft smile gracing her lips. 

“That is just lovely,” he said, a whole new kind of blush taking over his face as he looked up at her with a dreamy expression.

“So, is it true?” she asked.

“Is what true?”

“That you’re single,” she said.

“P-Pardon?” he sputtered, barely able to comprehend the turn their conversation had taken.

“Come on, Felix,” she teased. “Inquiring minds want to know.”

“Yes, I am,” he answered, his voice a bit shaky with nerves.

“Good,” she smiled. “Got any plans this weekend?”

* * *

As he and Tamora worked out the details for their first date, Felix couldn’t help but reflect on what a whirlwind tonight had been. As much as he hadn’t wanted Ralph to step in and help him, Felix had to give him credit:

He was a pretty effective wingman.


End file.
